The second day of the Big Ten media festivities starts with some one-on-one-or-so time for the media with the coaches and selected players. A ballroom is set up with a table for each player and coach, and media types just float around the room to talk to who they want. It's a two hour session, and there are also tables for some of the Big Ten Network types and league officiating coordinator Dave Parry.
Unless I'm writing for someone else, I usually spend my time with Parry, the Purdue folks and the Big Ten Network guys.
As an ex-official, I always find the talks with Parry interesting, even though I never worked football. This year, I had questions about the new horse collar rule and the interpretation of unsportsmanlike celebration.
The horse collar rule only applies if the player is brought down
immediately by the collar. I asked Parry why it was safer to bring the player down by the collar after a few steps, and he said it is because the player gets more of a chance to brace himself, and that the defender usually ends up grabbing something else as well, making it a safer play. I'm not entirely sure I agree with that, but we'll see how it's enforced.
I was also concerned that any individual celebration of a play might get penalized. That may not quite be true, but I think we are going to see a lot more of those flags this year. In short, anything choreographed, prolonged, and/or aimed at the opponent will be penalized.
If you take a flying leap into the end zone - penalty. If you take a flying leap into the stands after a touchdown - penalty. If you sack the QB, look down on him, and say or do anything - penalty.
Things like the entire Georgia team taking the field to celebrate a first quarter score will fall under "trespassers will be shot." Actually, that will just be something on the order of 60 penalties.
After that, I checked in with Purdue QB Curtis Painter. On his table was a bunch of calendars and videos promoting him as a Heisman candidate. That's probably a bit far-fetched, but you can't blame the school for trying.
Painter will have some new faces around him this year. In particular, he needs to find replacements for the production of TE Dustin Keller and WR Dorien Bryant.
Bryant will be easier to replace. He put up some big numbers, but was always a bit soft. Desmond Tardy will probably be an upgrade. Keller will be a little tougher. He was a first round pick after all, but Kyle Adams won't be too much of a dropoff.
As for Painter himself, he hopes to become more consistent. He cut his interceptions from 19 to 11 last year. He's looking for a similar improvement.
Joe Tiller enters his last year knowing more about his team than he usually does. That's because so many projected starters were injured in spring ball that a lot of backups got a lot more reps than they might have otherwise. That helped develop some depth, perhaps, but Tiller said he'd rather have had all his starters.
He also thought that put the team behind the curve a little bit entering fall camp. Although, it's not as bad as it might seem. Some of those 15 starters that missed spring ball were guys like Greg Orton and Sean Sester, who have been starters for a while. The missed time doesn't hurt guys like that as much.
The position of biggest concern may be linebacker. Tiller is hopeful that redshirt sophomore Kevin Green, a highly regarded prospect, has finally seen the light. Tiller said they recruited him because he was a physical player, but so far "has looked like Tarzan and played like Jane." He was much more physical in the spring, and if that carries over, "we'll have a hard time getting him off the field," Tiller said.
Tiller also talked about the situation he's in with his replacement being on staff. He said it wasn't his idea, but AD Morgan Burke's. He said he told Burke he was OK with it as long as the replacement was someone he was comfortable with.
There was a public flirtation with Wisconsin OC Paul Chryst that Tiller says probably would not have worked out for him. Neither he nor anyone on his staff knew Chryst or worked with him before, which would have made for an uncomfortable season.
Danny Hope, the man Purdue hired, was an assistant with Tiller at Wyoming and his first five seasons at Purdue. He's a friend of Tiller, so comfort is not a problem. Also, he's the offensive line coach this year, so he has an important job besides recruiting. Tiller is pleased with the way the line is shaping up under Hope, and the energy he brings to the job.
Once the media session is done, it's the fans' turn. Each school sets up a table for fans to come up and get trinkets and autographs. The Ohio St line seemed to wind all the way to lower Wacker Drive (or in that case, Wacko drive).
Following that is the luncheon, where fans get a good meal and hear each of the coaches speak about their teams. And take shots at each other.
The luncheon was hosted by ABC's Brent Musburger, who got off a few good lines of his own. He told of how the players were disappointed to see him instead of Erin Andrews. He also thanked Joe Tiller for providing the "snake oil and vinegar" dressing for the salad.
Most of the coaches introduce, or at least acknowledge, the players they brought with them, their AD, and/or their wives. Then, they talk about how excited they are about their team.
It used to be that you could tell what the coaches really thought of their teams by what they said. Coaches that mentioned their players "character" or "work ethic" usually had bad teams. Last year though, nobody used that phrase. This year, the only one who did was Tiller. Damn.
Tiller said he gets asked a lot about why he would retire back to Wyoming with it's rough weather. He said that the weather there is misunderstood. He explained that, "it's always clear and still. Snow clear up to your butt and still coming down."
He also said that since he announced his retirement, everyone has been very nice to him. In fact, "if I had known they would be so nice, I would have retired three years ago, and then came back. Then retired again, then came back."
While he was trying to welcome new Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez (a man he recently referred to as a snake oil salesman), he mistakenly called him "Rich Alvarez." He explained that he confused him with Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez because, "I need a haircut and Barry and I use the same barber."
He then decided he had to tell one story, even though he doesn't usually.
At the Ohio St game last year, the Buckeyes brought "43,000 fans with them. Fortunately, we didn't have 43,000 seats available. Out in the parking lot though, one of our long-time season ticket holders was trying to give away one of his tickets."
An Ohio St fan tried to buy it, but he was insistent on giving it away. He said it used to be his wife's, but since she died, he has no one to sit with at the game and he just wants some company.
The OSU fan asked if he didn't have any children or family who could go with him to the games. He said, "yes, but they're all at the funeral."
After the laughter died down, Tiller said that just shows the remarkable passion Big Ten fans have for football.
The only person who could follow Tiller to the dais was Joe Paterno. I can't write fast enough to keep up with him.
Commenting on Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald being elected to the Hall of Fame, he said, "it's great that he got in so young. It took me 58 years."
To Tiller: "Did I hear correctly, 'Snow up your butt?' It's going to take a lot of snow to fill your rear end."
He had the most fun though with Rodriguez.
"We played them once when he was a player at West Virginia. His wife was a cheerleader. Cute as can be! We took a picture together.
"Then he becomes a coach. Our first Nike trip together, his wife comes up to me and says 'Do you remember me?'
"I said, 'Do I remember
you!' I'm old, but I'm not
that old!
"I'm really couldn't care less that Rich is in our league now, no matter how much he payed to get in, but I'm sure glad his wife is here."
Then, he had Rodriguez wife stand up. Really, if Paterno wasn't so old, his fawning might have been creepy.
He also took a shot at former UM coach Lloyd Carr, who wasn't there to defend himself. "I always loved following him because he was such a lousy talker. Even his wife used to wait for me to talk."
And, it would be Joe if he didn't get a shot in at the refs. "Sometimes, in a game, you gotta wait for the refs to screw the other team, like with Purdue last year. Boy, they got screwed. That was one of the worst officiated games, wasn't it Joe (looking at Tiller)? But at least the calls all went our way."
Minnesota coach Tim Brewster seemed relatively calm, which means he was only much more wired than any other coach. He did have one funny moment when he tried to introduce his wife, but she wasn't there. "Is she here? Did she stay in the room?"
He also talked about, "change being a painful process. 1-11 is pretty painful."
Indiana coach Bill Lynch was the halfway point, and he said he'd be brief "because if you're like me, you'll have to go to the restroom soon."
He also made RB Maurice Thigpen stand up and model his fluorescent peach suit and suggested everyone come down to Bloomington for a game and pick one up for themselves in the clothing stores afterwards.
He also thanked disgraced outgoing AD Rick Greenspan. That got a bit of a groan from the room.
When Musburger introduced Rodriguez, he mentioned all the "Wanted" posters hanging up in West Virginia. Rodriguez said it's not the posters that concern him. "They sell a lot of guns in that state."
RR also told Brewster that, "change isn't just painful, it's costly."
Then, he told Lynch not to worry about Paterno. "He'll just get up and go when he has to, whether it's the middle of a luncheon or the middle of a game." Sure enough, later on, Paterno disappeared for a while.
He's also excited about Michigan fans, although he pointed out that of the 110,000 fans that show up on Saturdays, "109,000 are offensive coordinators. I don't think I'm going to hook them up to my headset just yet, though."
I'll leave you now with some of the thoughts of Wisconsin coach and comedian-in-waiting Bret Bielema.
"One thing I've learned is that the older you get, the more you get away with. One guy gets up here and talks about snow up to his butt. I didn't even know you could say 'butt' here. Another guy gets up and goes on about Rich's wife.
"I'll save some introduction time because I don't have a wife. If anyone stands up, I'm in trouble.
"One thing I'm going to miss about Joe (Tiller) is sitting next to him at these banquets. He keeps me thoroughly entertained, and he helps me translate Paterno."
As for people who think the league is down, Bielema says, "the easiest way to shut people up is to win."
