OIympic undies in a bunch

At the Olympics, the coach of the New Zealand men's field hockey team (I didn't know men played field hockey) was ejected from a game because his team's underwear was the wrong color.

As my hero, Dave Barry, likes to say, I am not making this up.

I'm sure NBC will be all over this story in prime time tonight.

Sign of the day

"Get Fireworks Here!" outside one of the 100,000 fireworks shops in Dyer, IN. The thing that made this one different is that it was hung on the side of an ambulance.

Here, the dead just vote

A village in Romania elected a dead person to be their mayor. There are cities here that might want to consider this option.

This would get Americans into soccer

Austria wins the preliminaries, but Germany won the one that counted. The Germans advance to face Portugal in the Euro 2008 quarterfinals.

Money can't buy you brains

Last week, Michel Fournier tried to set a world record for the highest and fastest free-fall. The plan was to float 25 miles high in a special balloon and jump. According to news reports, he spent two decades and $20M of his own money to make this happen.

Then, when the balloon was filling with helium, it took off by itself because it wasn't properly attached to the capsule.

I don't know anything about ballooning (I'm afraid of heights), but you would think "Attach balloon to capsule" would be near the top of the pre-flight checklist.

It's BEEEEEEEER!!!!

Now, if they can just get the carbonation issues worked out.

So, which is it?

The Cubs signed a minor league outfield who parents clearly had a sense of humor. His name is Angel Pagan.

Football team plays doubleheader

You thought the Astros and Braves had a long day!

Chief Justice Burns

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that Chief Justice nominee John Roberts looks like Frank Burns from M*A*S*H?

(and they're both from Indiana!)

Hall of Fame - foot in mouth category

As if the president doesn't have enough problems...

Barbara Bush on NPR, after a tour of the Astrodome: "Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Get your hostile and abusive souvenirs here!

The Baltimore Sun reported that the NCAA's online souvenir shop, shopNCAAsports.com, is selling hostile and abusive souvenirs. Among the items you can find there, but not bring or wear to a championship event are:

Chief Illini (sic) Pendant

North Dakota Hockey Jersey

Utah Utes Hat

Central Michigan Chippewas Clock

Arkansas St Indians Beanbag Chair

However, if you're looking for SE Oklahoma St Savages gear, you're out of luck.

The NCAA says it will stop selling such items on its site by the same February 1, 2006 date that the "hostile and abusive" mascot policy goes into effect.

No good deed goes unpunsihed

Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports tells the story of the NCAA getting in the way of an effort by Georgia fans to do something nice for a serviceman in Iraq, who is also the father of a Boise St football player.

Which of this things doesn't belong here?

For a fun little game of "Which of these things doesn't belong here," turn to page 19 of the K-Mart circular in the Sunday paper this week.

What was second prize?

Did you hear about the guy who won twelve pairs of round trip coach tickets on American Airlines to anywhere they fly? AA valued the prize at the maximum possible amount, meaning that the taxes the winner would have to pay would have been about $19,000, or about $790 per ticket. The guy ended up declining the prize, figuring he could buy the tickets a lot cheaper.

You mean it does cause blindness?

Maybe Mom was right after all. Sort of.

There are news reports out today that say that some Viagra users are experiencing blindness.

Time for the Patch

Here is an AP story about a guy who jumped from a car traveling 55-60 mph because his cigarette flew out the window.

The doofus survived, which ended his quest to be a finalist for the Darwin Award.

Fifth and 8

The BCS is the prime example of how math and football don't mix, as I cover extensively on my website, CollegeBCS.com. The state of North Carolina, which is known for its basketball, provided another recent example.

The state exam for seventh graders included the following question:

"If a football team's first six plays of a drive are a 6-yard loss, a 3-yard gain and a 2-yard loss, a 7-yard gain, a 12-yard gain and a 4-yard gain, what is it's average gain per play?"

The problem many people noticed is that the first three plays result in a net of -5 yards, leaving fourth down and 15 yards to go. The fourth down play only gets seven yards, so the team should have turned it over on downs and not had the next two plays.

The state's chief test guy (his real title is probably more impressive sounding than that) suggested, and I'm paraphrasing here, that the complainers should get a life.

Family Feud over Pope's Car

Last week, there was a story in the Aurora Beacon News about a man in Sugar Grove, IL, who was going to sell the only car Pope John Paul II ever owned, a 1975 Ford Escort. According to the story, he's going to auction it off in Las Vegas on June 4th.

There was only one problem. He didn't actually have possession of the car. It was in his shuttered restaurant and he didn't have the keys to the place. A week after that first story in the Beacon News, it reported that the son had borrowed $1.7M from his father and used the restaurant and its contents as collateral.

The son and his father have been in court since last summer over who has possession of the restaurant. At that time, the court appointed an independent party to be the receiver and keep both father and son out of the place without the court's permission.

This weekend, things really got interesting.

On Friday, the son filed for bankruptcy in an attempt to release the restaurant from the court's receiver so he could get the car for the auction. Today, the Daily Herald reported that a Kane County judge threw out the bankruptcy petition and granted possession of the restaurant and the contents (including the pope's car) to the father.

If the father goes to the restaurant, he'll be in for a surprise, because the car isn't there.

A picture of the car is in the Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette this morning with a caption saying that the car will be displayed from today until May 30 at the WW II Victory Museum in Auburn, IN (about 15 miles north of Ft. Wayne). The caption also misidentifies the owner as the son, though the Ft. Wayne paper could hardly have known better.

Somehow, the son must have gotten into the restaurant without the keys, removed the car, and transported it to Ft. Wayne.

I'm guessing that if you want to see this car at the museum, you better get there quickly. I have a feeling that once its rightful owner discovers where it is, it won't be on display for long.

Obviously, this story isn't over yet. I wonder what the pope would have thought about all this fighting over his old car. Of course, this is a family fight and probably has little or nothing to do with the car, but it's the car that has it in the news.

Man Bites Dog

Here's the kind of story you don't hear every day.

Tulsa and SMU are battling it out for the Western Athletic Conference men's golf championship. After 54 holes, the two teams are tied, which requires a sudden-death playoff to settle the issue. The problem is, Tulsa has a plane to catch and finals the next day. That flight is the last of the day, so it's either play the playoff or get back in time for the tests.

Tulsa's coach, Bill Brogden, chose the tests. After two players out of five from each team had teed off, Brogden pulled the plug and Tulsa left for the airport.

Brogden and the SMU coach, Jay Loar, talked it over briefly and had agreed to simply call it a draw and have each team be co-champions, but the WAC official overruled and declared SMU the winner by forfeit. Tulsa plans to appeal that ruling.

Tulsa's players and their parents were a little baffled and even upset at first, but eventually saw it the coach's way.

Rick Reilly in Sports Illustrated had a very funny commentary on this.

Has Anyone Seen My 10-Foot Weenie?

Some stories just speak for themselves.

ROCK HILL, S.C. (AP) -- Police are looking for a hot dog that's REALLY hot -- as in stolen.

A sign featuring a giant wiener has gone missing from the Ebenezer Grill. But investigators believe the suspects should be easy to spot.

"It's tough to hide a 10-foot weenie," Rock Hill police Lt. Jerry Waldrop said.

The smiling hot dog has welcomed customers for the past 18 months, after owner Loyd Ardrey bought it to replace the aging dog that sat atop the roof for years.

When Ardrey arrived around 6 a.m. Wednesday, the 30-pound aluminum sign was gone.

"I figured, well, maybe it blew off because we had some storms last night. We looked around, and it wasn't in any yards next door or across the street or anything," Ardrey said.

If he has to, Ardrey said he will buy another sign. He's thinking about offering a reward, but isn't sure if he should give out money or hot dogs.

"I just want my weenie back," Ardrey said.

Well, who wouldn't?