Tuesday, April 18, 2006
This is why I hire an accountant
Now that we have all given to Caesar that which is Caesar's for another year (except possibly for George Ryan), it's time once again to share with you my all-time favorite editorial cartoon, which won Jeff MacNelly a Pulitzer Prize in 1978.
First swim lesson
We baptized our baby girl on Sunday, and things did not go swimmingly. We needed to do an emergency diaper change about five minutes before the baptism, and most of that time was spent trying to find a suitable place to do that. I'll spare you the details, but I will say I could have really used a hose. As a result, she was slightly late for her own baptism (takes after her mother). This apparently did not make her happy, because she wailed during the whole ceremony, stopping only to catch her breath. The cops showed up because the neighbors called to complain about the noise.
OK, I made that last bit up.
I guess she was trying to make up for her brothers, who were no trouble at all during their baptisms.
OK, I made that last bit up.
I guess she was trying to make up for her brothers, who were no trouble at all during their baptisms.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Bucky not lucky
On the hour-long American Idol results show, which was at least 30 minutes too long, we learned that the voters kicked off Bucky Covington, who did about the lamest version of Fat Bottom Girls imaginable. I would have booted Ace Young, who turned We Will Rock You into a lullaby, but Bucky was certainly a worthy choice as well. Ace must have a bigger family.
Ace and Bucky reprised their sorry efforts on the show, I guess to remind us why we disliked them so much, although Ace did manage to get the words right this time. They were joined in the "bottom three" by Elliott Yamin, who fought his way through Somebody to Love. He was also forced to sing it again, and seemed surprised to be asked to do so. The others were all deemed "safe" (imagine Ryan Seacrest channeling Dutch Rennert) and didn't have to sing again.
The group of eight opened the show with a medley of Queen hits that they didn't perform the other night. Each singer got to do a bit of a solo. Ace sang Killer Queen, and did a nice job on that. He should have done that one the night before. Elliott also sang a better song for him when he did You're My Best Friend. Bucky was still weak in a duet with Chris Daughtry on Under Pressure and we learned that Katharine's choice to change from Don't Stop Me Now was a really good decision.
During the time-wasting part of the results show, they had video clips from each singer's family wishing them well. Elliott's mom said, "We're praying for you, Elliott. Give 'em hell!" I missed a couple of clips while I pondered the theological significance of that.
I also almost missed the Secret deodorant ad with Danica Patrick, which ends with "Secret - strong enough for Danica Patrick, strong enough for a woman." Have I missed another memo? Is she not a woman?
Next week, the Idol singers take a shot at some old standards that Rod Stewart has sung (man, what a wild change his career has taken), but I won't be there to see it. I return now to my peaceful, non-American Idol existence, already in progress.
Ace and Bucky reprised their sorry efforts on the show, I guess to remind us why we disliked them so much, although Ace did manage to get the words right this time. They were joined in the "bottom three" by Elliott Yamin, who fought his way through Somebody to Love. He was also forced to sing it again, and seemed surprised to be asked to do so. The others were all deemed "safe" (imagine Ryan Seacrest channeling Dutch Rennert) and didn't have to sing again.
The group of eight opened the show with a medley of Queen hits that they didn't perform the other night. Each singer got to do a bit of a solo. Ace sang Killer Queen, and did a nice job on that. He should have done that one the night before. Elliott also sang a better song for him when he did You're My Best Friend. Bucky was still weak in a duet with Chris Daughtry on Under Pressure and we learned that Katharine's choice to change from Don't Stop Me Now was a really good decision.
During the time-wasting part of the results show, they had video clips from each singer's family wishing them well. Elliott's mom said, "We're praying for you, Elliott. Give 'em hell!" I missed a couple of clips while I pondered the theological significance of that.
I also almost missed the Secret deodorant ad with Danica Patrick, which ends with "Secret - strong enough for Danica Patrick, strong enough for a woman." Have I missed another memo? Is she not a woman?
Next week, the Idol singers take a shot at some old standards that Rod Stewart has sung (man, what a wild change his career has taken), but I won't be there to see it. I return now to my peaceful, non-American Idol existence, already in progress.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Queen Karaoke
I am probably the only American who has never watched a minute of American Idol. That changed tonight. That's because the eight finalists were required to sing songs by my favorite band, Queen.
The good thing for the singers is that Queen's catalog is large and diverse enough that finding an appropriate song that fits each singer's style should be easy. The bad news is that when you sing it, you will be compared to Freddie Mercury.
That's one of the things working against Paul Rodgers during his current tour fronting Queen. I saw them in Chicago a few weeks ago and I thought the concert was great. They only did songs that worked with Paul's style and skipped those that didn't. Roger Taylor (drummer and underrated singer) took over lead singer duties on three songs as well. During those, Rodgers was not on stage. Queen performed Bohemian Rhapsody, the signature "Freddie" song, with a video of Freddie for the first part, the usual video for the opera section, and Rodgers singing the hard rock part at the end. My only disappointment was that they didn't perform two songs that were written after Queen's last US tour in the mid-80s (which I also saw), One Vision and I Want it All.
The American Idol contestants were hit and miss, and so were the judges. It seemed like the judges were unfamiliar with some of the songs. I should have been a guest judge (he says modestly). I'm not a singer, but I know good when I hear it and I know these particular songs well. Also, I had never seen any of these singers previous performances, so I was judging them just on how they did that one song and not whether I liked them going in. Here are my critiques in the order in which they performed:
1. Bucky Covington - Fat Bottomed Girls
Bucky has a very polished voice, but this is a raunchy song, and he sang it like he was in a HS choir. He hit all the notes, but had no idea how it was supposed to sound. Totally the wrong song for him. He should have sung one of the ballads, like Love of my Life or Save Me, which nobody sang.
2. Ace Young - We Will Rock You
If I were to kick one person off for this week's performance, it would be him. He had the same problem Bucky did - his voice was too "perfect" for this us-against-the-world rock anthem and he didn't convey the right feeling at all. Judge Simon Bar Sinister (SBS) was right on when he called it "We Will Rock You Gently". On top of that, he botched the lyrics. He should have sung one of the ballads also, perhaps Who Wants to Live Forever, which someone else butchered later. Primarily though, he should have sang a song that he could remember the words to.
3. Kellie Pickler - Bohemian Rhapsody
Singers only get a minute and a half and BoRhap is about a 6-minute song, so she had to do some serious editing. She had the best "production". Her costume, makeup and lighting harkened back to the video, and she sang it well. She must be a country singer, because I detected a bit of an annoying twang slipping in occasionally, but she did a pretty good job of suppressing that for the most part.
The judges agreed with Brian May, who said she was brave to take on this song. There's some truth to that because it's such a standard and because of how much editing you have to do, but another contestant was even more courageous. I guess someone else did BoRhap last year as well and did a good job on it, but I didn't hear it, of course.
4. Chris Daughtry - Innuendo
Innuendo is a song that Queen has never performed live (and not because it's not a good song, as SBS said, because they never toured after it was written), so it was interesting to hear him do it. He did a nice job, considering that, like BoRhap, it's about six minutes long and had to be severely edited. He is clearly the rock singer in the bunch. He has no stage presence whatsoever, but among the first four, he did the best job singing his chosen song the way it should be sung.
SBS complained that he should have chosen a more popular song, and there's something to that. Stone Cold Crazy would have worked well, or he could have done Tie Your Mother Down.
5. Katharine McPhee - Who Wants to Live Forever
Katharine has a beautiful voice and she wasted it on this song. This is a melancholy and powerful song, and she sang it weak and syrupy sweet. My wife said it was "Mariah Carey does Queen" except Carey would have at least sung it powerfully. McPhee either doesn't have the pipes to do it or chose not to. She was originally going to sing Don't Stop Me Now, and I'm glad she didn't, although this didn't work either. Something like Killer Queen would have been better suited to her.
The judges liked her, by the way, which is an indication that they just didn't know this song or they have the hots for her.
6. Elliott Yamin - Somebody to Love
Roger Taylor said in the intro that this is the toughest song to sing in their entire repertoire and I couldn't agree more. I've always felt that if you think you're a good singer, sing this and we'll see. Yamin took a risk by trying to tackle this and he was in over his head. He did a good job with the desperate feel of the song, but the singing was all over the place. He had the good sense not to try to hit the falsetto at the end, which was clearly out of his range, but he just didn't seem comfortable with the song. I would suggest a week of practice isn't enough to do a proper job on it.
The judges liked him, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe they appreciated the effort.
7. Taylor Hicks - Crazy Little Thing Called Love
He said he chose this song (he had originally picked something else, which now escapes me) because it was something he could move around and dance to. I think I can safely say I've never seen anybody so uncomfortable and unnatural on stage. I didn't know whether to cringe or laugh when he was doing whatever it was he was doing. At least his convulsions didn't affect his singing. He was the best of the night at singing his chosen song. Next time though, I'd just as soon see him sing standing still. Maybe I'll just close my eyes.
8. Paris Bennett - Show Must Go On
After seven more-or-less mediocre performances of my favorite band's songs, I was not looking forward to someone tackling this one, which is one of my personal favorites. However, if anyone "nailed it" tonight, it was Paris. She's a little stiff on stage, but her voice was powerful enough to handle the song and she sang it well. I can see why Brian and Roger liked her.
So, I would have rated them in order: Paris, Kellie, Chris, Taylor, Elliott, Katharine, Bucky and Ace.
What I got out of this show though was just how good Freddie Mercury was. Nobody in this group was anywhere close, and they only had to do one of his songs in a style that hopefully suited them. I also learned that only five seasons into the show, America has run out of super-talented, but undiscovered singers. I would have thought we would have had more than four seasons worth.
The good thing for the singers is that Queen's catalog is large and diverse enough that finding an appropriate song that fits each singer's style should be easy. The bad news is that when you sing it, you will be compared to Freddie Mercury.
That's one of the things working against Paul Rodgers during his current tour fronting Queen. I saw them in Chicago a few weeks ago and I thought the concert was great. They only did songs that worked with Paul's style and skipped those that didn't. Roger Taylor (drummer and underrated singer) took over lead singer duties on three songs as well. During those, Rodgers was not on stage. Queen performed Bohemian Rhapsody, the signature "Freddie" song, with a video of Freddie for the first part, the usual video for the opera section, and Rodgers singing the hard rock part at the end. My only disappointment was that they didn't perform two songs that were written after Queen's last US tour in the mid-80s (which I also saw), One Vision and I Want it All.
The American Idol contestants were hit and miss, and so were the judges. It seemed like the judges were unfamiliar with some of the songs. I should have been a guest judge (he says modestly). I'm not a singer, but I know good when I hear it and I know these particular songs well. Also, I had never seen any of these singers previous performances, so I was judging them just on how they did that one song and not whether I liked them going in. Here are my critiques in the order in which they performed:
1. Bucky Covington - Fat Bottomed Girls
Bucky has a very polished voice, but this is a raunchy song, and he sang it like he was in a HS choir. He hit all the notes, but had no idea how it was supposed to sound. Totally the wrong song for him. He should have sung one of the ballads, like Love of my Life or Save Me, which nobody sang.
2. Ace Young - We Will Rock You
If I were to kick one person off for this week's performance, it would be him. He had the same problem Bucky did - his voice was too "perfect" for this us-against-the-world rock anthem and he didn't convey the right feeling at all. Judge Simon Bar Sinister (SBS) was right on when he called it "We Will Rock You Gently". On top of that, he botched the lyrics. He should have sung one of the ballads also, perhaps Who Wants to Live Forever, which someone else butchered later. Primarily though, he should have sang a song that he could remember the words to.
3. Kellie Pickler - Bohemian Rhapsody
Singers only get a minute and a half and BoRhap is about a 6-minute song, so she had to do some serious editing. She had the best "production". Her costume, makeup and lighting harkened back to the video, and she sang it well. She must be a country singer, because I detected a bit of an annoying twang slipping in occasionally, but she did a pretty good job of suppressing that for the most part.
The judges agreed with Brian May, who said she was brave to take on this song. There's some truth to that because it's such a standard and because of how much editing you have to do, but another contestant was even more courageous. I guess someone else did BoRhap last year as well and did a good job on it, but I didn't hear it, of course.
4. Chris Daughtry - Innuendo
Innuendo is a song that Queen has never performed live (and not because it's not a good song, as SBS said, because they never toured after it was written), so it was interesting to hear him do it. He did a nice job, considering that, like BoRhap, it's about six minutes long and had to be severely edited. He is clearly the rock singer in the bunch. He has no stage presence whatsoever, but among the first four, he did the best job singing his chosen song the way it should be sung.
SBS complained that he should have chosen a more popular song, and there's something to that. Stone Cold Crazy would have worked well, or he could have done Tie Your Mother Down.
5. Katharine McPhee - Who Wants to Live Forever
Katharine has a beautiful voice and she wasted it on this song. This is a melancholy and powerful song, and she sang it weak and syrupy sweet. My wife said it was "Mariah Carey does Queen" except Carey would have at least sung it powerfully. McPhee either doesn't have the pipes to do it or chose not to. She was originally going to sing Don't Stop Me Now, and I'm glad she didn't, although this didn't work either. Something like Killer Queen would have been better suited to her.
The judges liked her, by the way, which is an indication that they just didn't know this song or they have the hots for her.
6. Elliott Yamin - Somebody to Love
Roger Taylor said in the intro that this is the toughest song to sing in their entire repertoire and I couldn't agree more. I've always felt that if you think you're a good singer, sing this and we'll see. Yamin took a risk by trying to tackle this and he was in over his head. He did a good job with the desperate feel of the song, but the singing was all over the place. He had the good sense not to try to hit the falsetto at the end, which was clearly out of his range, but he just didn't seem comfortable with the song. I would suggest a week of practice isn't enough to do a proper job on it.
The judges liked him, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe they appreciated the effort.
7. Taylor Hicks - Crazy Little Thing Called Love
He said he chose this song (he had originally picked something else, which now escapes me) because it was something he could move around and dance to. I think I can safely say I've never seen anybody so uncomfortable and unnatural on stage. I didn't know whether to cringe or laugh when he was doing whatever it was he was doing. At least his convulsions didn't affect his singing. He was the best of the night at singing his chosen song. Next time though, I'd just as soon see him sing standing still. Maybe I'll just close my eyes.
8. Paris Bennett - Show Must Go On
After seven more-or-less mediocre performances of my favorite band's songs, I was not looking forward to someone tackling this one, which is one of my personal favorites. However, if anyone "nailed it" tonight, it was Paris. She's a little stiff on stage, but her voice was powerful enough to handle the song and she sang it well. I can see why Brian and Roger liked her.
So, I would have rated them in order: Paris, Kellie, Chris, Taylor, Elliott, Katharine, Bucky and Ace.
What I got out of this show though was just how good Freddie Mercury was. Nobody in this group was anywhere close, and they only had to do one of his songs in a style that hopefully suited them. I also learned that only five seasons into the show, America has run out of super-talented, but undiscovered singers. I would have thought we would have had more than four seasons worth.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Company Expansion
Palm Sports Resources announced today the hiring of Annika Eliese Palm as a Special Assistant to the President. When asked what role Annika would have in the organization, President Jerry Palm said, “We plan to start her off slowly so she can learn the ropes. Since she’s only 20 1/4” long and 7 lbs, 13.5 oz, we’ll probably limit her activities to eating, sleeping and pooping initially. We will also put her in charge of ensuring that we have the proper amount of sleep deprivation in the Executive Suite.”
Palm added, “If she is able to do those things successfully, we will be expanding her responsibilities into other areas to be decided upon at a later date.”
The EEOC began an investigation into the company’s hiring practices last summer when rumors surfaced that the company had only hired males so far, but Palm was quick to point out that the investigation had nothing to do with Annika Palm’s appointment.
“Obviously, it’s no fun when the government shows up at your door and starts rifling through your drawers, muttering things like ‘Title IX’, ‘gender bias’ and ‘federal lawsuit’, but Annika isn’t the token female around here. She has impressive credentials and we’re committed to her for the long term. We expect big things from her. It probably won’t be too long before she’s running the place. Of course, if hiring her gets the feds off my back, so much the better.”
Palm wasn’t kidding when he talked about a long term commitment. While terms of the deal were not disclosed, a well placed source says Ms. Palm signed an 18-year, no-cut contract.
Mr. Palm also got a little defensive when pressed about the fact that this looks like a patronage hire. “Hey, this is Lake County, Indiana,” Palm said, adding, “Every job in this county is a patronage job. This isn’t like Chicago, where patronage hiring is illegal.”
Friday, February 17, 2006
Ain't over yet!
For years, I've been watching sports, and one thing that is uniquely American that bugs me is showboating. OK, athletes in other countries may do it as well, especially soccer players, but nobody touches the Americans when it comes self-aggrandizement.
Americans are so good at it that they often start patting themselves on the back before anything has actually been accomplished. This is especially true in football, where you rarely watch a game without at least one player starting to celebrate a touchdown well before he gets to the end zone. I've always thought it would be great if one of those guys dropped the ball or otherwise messed it up while they were busy patting themselves on the back.
There was one famous incident in the Super Bowl years ago when Dallas DL Leon Lett started strutting his way into the end zone at around the 10-yard-line, only to have a Buffalo player strip the ball before he got there. Unfortunately, Dallas won anyway.
In the Olympics today, someone finally got indigestion from putting too much mustard on her hot dog. Leslie Jacobellis had the Snowboard Cross gold medal sewn up. She had a huge lead thanks to crashes behind her, so on the second-to-last jump on the course, she grabbed her board to do some silly x-games-style trick, they called it a “backside method grab", which sounds more like a dance move than an athletic one, and she landed wrong and crashed on her backside. By the time she got up, the only other competitor still standing had passed her and took the gold medal.
I will give her a little credit for how she handled her mistake. Immediately after the race, she gave some weak excuse about grabbing the board to "stabilize", but later dropped that. She didn't duck the media and didn't treat it like the end of her world.
However, she has earned herself a measure of immortality. Now, instead of seeing some poor guy go head-over-heels off the end of a ski jump ramp, we'll be watching her showing us the proper "method" for turning gold into silver.
Americans are so good at it that they often start patting themselves on the back before anything has actually been accomplished. This is especially true in football, where you rarely watch a game without at least one player starting to celebrate a touchdown well before he gets to the end zone. I've always thought it would be great if one of those guys dropped the ball or otherwise messed it up while they were busy patting themselves on the back.
There was one famous incident in the Super Bowl years ago when Dallas DL Leon Lett started strutting his way into the end zone at around the 10-yard-line, only to have a Buffalo player strip the ball before he got there. Unfortunately, Dallas won anyway.
In the Olympics today, someone finally got indigestion from putting too much mustard on her hot dog. Leslie Jacobellis had the Snowboard Cross gold medal sewn up. She had a huge lead thanks to crashes behind her, so on the second-to-last jump on the course, she grabbed her board to do some silly x-games-style trick, they called it a “backside method grab", which sounds more like a dance move than an athletic one, and she landed wrong and crashed on her backside. By the time she got up, the only other competitor still standing had passed her and took the gold medal.
I will give her a little credit for how she handled her mistake. Immediately after the race, she gave some weak excuse about grabbing the board to "stabilize", but later dropped that. She didn't duck the media and didn't treat it like the end of her world.
However, she has earned herself a measure of immortality. Now, instead of seeing some poor guy go head-over-heels off the end of a ski jump ramp, we'll be watching her showing us the proper "method" for turning gold into silver.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Typical February weather
I'm sitting here watching the Olympics (which I am watching much less of than usual) and the warning sirens went off. The only time that happens is when we have a tornado warning or an air raid. Since it's mid-February, naturally I assumed we must have done something to annoy Canada, or perhaps Michigan, and were under attack. It turns out that was incorrect, but that we actually had a tornado warning. I've lived around here most of my 42 years and I don't ever remember a tornado in February. I guess that's more fodder for you global warming types.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Baby update
As many of you know, my wife is due to deliver child number four on or about March 1st. Obviously, I'm very good with numbers, but I seem to have trouble with a calendar, since that is the busiest time of the year for me with my work. I was very worried that this baby would be fashionably late and arrive on March 12th, which is selection Sunday.
For us, that kind of thing is very predictable. All of our major pregnancy events happen on or very close to special occasions.
Child #1 was due on Mother's Day, but my wife's water broke on April Fools' Day (which also happened to be the day after the national championship game that year) and he was born the next day.
My wife started going into labor two months before #2 was due, but she spent a day in the hospital and they were able to stop the labor before it really got going. That day was my birthday. #2 son ended up being born about four hours short of Groundhog Day.
Pregnancy #3 ended in a miscarriage on Halloween.
When they told us child #3 was due in late October, a Halloween baby never occurred to us. We were thinking more along the lines of Labor Day, or optimistically, Columbus Day. It turns out that this one was late. He was born on Election Day.
So, with a due date of March 1st (Ash Wednesday), we started planning for a new addition on New Year's Day, MLK Day, our anniversary (Jan 17), Groundhog Day, Presidents Day, Valentine's Day, selection Sunday, the Ides of March (which also happens to be my wife's birthday) and St. Patrick's Day.
My wife's doctor says we can cross the last few off the list though. He's leaving for vacation on March 3rd, so he wants to make sure that baby is out and my wife is well on her way to recovery before he takes off. That means that March 1st isn't just a due date, it's a maximum due date.
Maybe it'll be Fat Tuesday (Feb 28), which considering how skinny my first three kids are, would be quite ironic.
For us, that kind of thing is very predictable. All of our major pregnancy events happen on or very close to special occasions.
Child #1 was due on Mother's Day, but my wife's water broke on April Fools' Day (which also happened to be the day after the national championship game that year) and he was born the next day.
My wife started going into labor two months before #2 was due, but she spent a day in the hospital and they were able to stop the labor before it really got going. That day was my birthday. #2 son ended up being born about four hours short of Groundhog Day.
Pregnancy #3 ended in a miscarriage on Halloween.
When they told us child #3 was due in late October, a Halloween baby never occurred to us. We were thinking more along the lines of Labor Day, or optimistically, Columbus Day. It turns out that this one was late. He was born on Election Day.
So, with a due date of March 1st (Ash Wednesday), we started planning for a new addition on New Year's Day, MLK Day, our anniversary (Jan 17), Groundhog Day, Presidents Day, Valentine's Day, selection Sunday, the Ides of March (which also happens to be my wife's birthday) and St. Patrick's Day.
My wife's doctor says we can cross the last few off the list though. He's leaving for vacation on March 3rd, so he wants to make sure that baby is out and my wife is well on her way to recovery before he takes off. That means that March 1st isn't just a due date, it's a maximum due date.
Maybe it'll be Fat Tuesday (Feb 28), which considering how skinny my first three kids are, would be quite ironic.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Super Bowl
I can't really put my finger on why, but I'm not all that excited about the Super Bowl this year. Maybe it's the teams involved. Maybe not. All in all, I'd rather see the Colts and/or Bears out there, but it's not like the Steelers and Seahawks are particularly boring.
Maybe it's a lack of anticipation over the ads. The last few years, the ads have generally been pretty mediocre, nowhere near living up to the hype.
Actually, it's probably that I'm already numb from the hype. News outlets ran out of things to talk about ten days ago, but that doesn't mean they stopped talking. I'm so sick of hearing about the game that it dulls my anticipation of it. Two weeks is way too long between the conference championships and the Super Bowl.
I'll watch anyway, of course, while I work on my bracket for tomorrow. I'm picking the Seahawks, primarily because they are being ignored. At least as much as possible for a Super Bowl team.
Maybe it's a lack of anticipation over the ads. The last few years, the ads have generally been pretty mediocre, nowhere near living up to the hype.
Actually, it's probably that I'm already numb from the hype. News outlets ran out of things to talk about ten days ago, but that doesn't mean they stopped talking. I'm so sick of hearing about the game that it dulls my anticipation of it. Two weeks is way too long between the conference championships and the Super Bowl.
I'll watch anyway, of course, while I work on my bracket for tomorrow. I'm picking the Seahawks, primarily because they are being ignored. At least as much as possible for a Super Bowl team.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Pinewood Derby
We had our first experience with the Cub Scouts' Pinewood Derby last weekend and things went amazingly well. #1 Son is a Bear (3rd graders) and his car won three of his four heats and finished second in all four finals races for second place in the Bear group. The only car that beat his is the one that finished first. More on that in a minute.
#2 Son is a Tiger (1st graders) and his car did even better. He won all four of his heats to finish first in the preliminaries. The second place car was creatively designed. It was called "Fast Food" because it was a thin block of wood with a plastic cheeseburger, french fry box and shake cup glued on it. That was one of my favorites, along with the one that was an aquarium (no water, of course) done by one of the Webeloes (4th-5th grades). But, I digress.
In the heats, #2 son's car beat Fast Food twice by about a car length each time. His car also won the first race of the finals, but by a nose. Fast Food won the other three races in dead heats (too close to call without a computer, which it's a good thing they had), so Fast Food ended up being the winner of the Tiger class.
Fast Food then went on to be Grand Champion, winning the four finals races convincingly. That means #2 son probably had the second fastest car there, but only got second in class. That's racing, though!
Pinewood Derby is kind of funny to watch off the track. It's different from family to family, but it's really more about the dads than the kids. This is the kind of project that adults have to be involved in at some level because we’re not going to let the kids use power tools at age 8, but some cars clearly looked like the kids had nothing to do with them. There was one dad that was so anal that he brought the car to the race in a one-foot cube steel box which had been lined with foam that had a car-shaped cut-out in it.
When I kind of off-handedly suggested to our (Bear) den leader that it would be cool of one of our kids won, he said it wouldn’t happen. He told me who would win and said the same dad wins every year because he starts working on the car the day after the previous race ends. It shows too, because he has the most professional looking car there. I wonder if the kid even sees the car before race day.
The cars the kids in our den made looked like amateur hack-jobs by comparison, which they were, since they were mostly done by amateurs. The only thing the adults did for the kids in our den was cut the car and make sure the wheels were on straight. Our goal was for the cars to get all the way down the track without catching fire, blowing an engine or having a tire fall off.
As it turns out, our den leader was right and worked-on-it-for-a-year car won, but some of our den’s hack-jobs finished second, third and fourth. I’m sure the dad that spent a year making his car was shocked not only not to be Grand Champion, but to lose to a car that could have mostly been made by a six-year-old.
So, while there is a TON of information out there about how to make a winning Pinewood Derby car, what we learned is what #1 son already knew before we raced. In the car on the way to the race, he blurted out, “winning the race is mostly luck.” We more or less proved that.
#2 Son is a Tiger (1st graders) and his car did even better. He won all four of his heats to finish first in the preliminaries. The second place car was creatively designed. It was called "Fast Food" because it was a thin block of wood with a plastic cheeseburger, french fry box and shake cup glued on it. That was one of my favorites, along with the one that was an aquarium (no water, of course) done by one of the Webeloes (4th-5th grades). But, I digress.
In the heats, #2 son's car beat Fast Food twice by about a car length each time. His car also won the first race of the finals, but by a nose. Fast Food won the other three races in dead heats (too close to call without a computer, which it's a good thing they had), so Fast Food ended up being the winner of the Tiger class.
Fast Food then went on to be Grand Champion, winning the four finals races convincingly. That means #2 son probably had the second fastest car there, but only got second in class. That's racing, though!
Pinewood Derby is kind of funny to watch off the track. It's different from family to family, but it's really more about the dads than the kids. This is the kind of project that adults have to be involved in at some level because we’re not going to let the kids use power tools at age 8, but some cars clearly looked like the kids had nothing to do with them. There was one dad that was so anal that he brought the car to the race in a one-foot cube steel box which had been lined with foam that had a car-shaped cut-out in it.
When I kind of off-handedly suggested to our (Bear) den leader that it would be cool of one of our kids won, he said it wouldn’t happen. He told me who would win and said the same dad wins every year because he starts working on the car the day after the previous race ends. It shows too, because he has the most professional looking car there. I wonder if the kid even sees the car before race day.
The cars the kids in our den made looked like amateur hack-jobs by comparison, which they were, since they were mostly done by amateurs. The only thing the adults did for the kids in our den was cut the car and make sure the wheels were on straight. Our goal was for the cars to get all the way down the track without catching fire, blowing an engine or having a tire fall off.
As it turns out, our den leader was right and worked-on-it-for-a-year car won, but some of our den’s hack-jobs finished second, third and fourth. I’m sure the dad that spent a year making his car was shocked not only not to be Grand Champion, but to lose to a car that could have mostly been made by a six-year-old.
So, while there is a TON of information out there about how to make a winning Pinewood Derby car, what we learned is what #1 son already knew before we raced. In the car on the way to the race, he blurted out, “winning the race is mostly luck.” We more or less proved that.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
So, which is it?
The Cubs signed a minor league outfield who parents clearly had a sense of humor. His name is Angel Pagan.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Bears-Panthers
I may end up eating these words tomorrow, but I don't think Rex Grossman is The Savior. In fact, I don't think he's anything beyond mediocre and never will be, whether he gets hurt again or not. I am in the minority with that opinion. OK, I'm the only one with that opinion. Everyone else around here is drooling with optimism, but the reality is, he was only marginally better than Kyle Orton in the six quarters he played this year, and that's not a step down from previous years. He doesn't make great decisions and he's not particularly accurate. Come to think of it, that's what they say about Orton too, but Orton's a rookie. However, Grossman's the best the Bears have right now, so he has to play, but because he's not nearly as good as Jake Delhomme (now there's an indictment for you), the Bears are going down today. It won't be a blowout because the defenses are too good. Something like 13-6. Carolina didn't show up when the two teams played before. They will this time.
BTW, this isn't an opinion born out of a bias for Orton because of I'm a Purdue guy. I didn't like it when the Bears drafted Grossman. I didn't like his game in college.
BTW, this isn't an opinion born out of a bias for Orton because of I'm a Purdue guy. I didn't like it when the Bears drafted Grossman. I didn't like his game in college.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
No respect
QB Kyle Orton had one of the best seasons ever for a rookie QB in the NFL, helping to guide the Bears to a 10-5 record and the #2 seed in the NFC. So you will not be surprised to learn that RB Cadillac Williams of the Tampa Bay Bucs was named the AP offensive rookie of the year. Orton was tied for fifth with zero votes.
Do not adjust your monitor. You read that correctly. Zero votes. Nada. Zippo.
Williams got 47 of the 50 votes and the other three went to Miami RB Ronnie Brown, NE OL Logan Mankins and Pittsburgh TE Heath Miller.
Do not adjust your monitor. You read that correctly. Zero votes. Nada. Zippo.
Williams got 47 of the 50 votes and the other three went to Miami RB Ronnie Brown, NE OL Logan Mankins and Pittsburgh TE Heath Miller.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Bearing down
* I think the Bears made a mistake by not playing QB Rex Grossman yesterday. He's played a game and a half, during which time he's been highly mediocre. I could understand sitting him if he'd played all season, but he needs reps at game speed, even if it means risking injury.
* The Bears gave in to the pressure of fans and sponsors and will allow NW Indiana residents to buy playoff tickets when they go on sale tomorrow.
* The Bears gave in to the pressure of fans and sponsors and will allow NW Indiana residents to buy playoff tickets when they go on sale tomorrow.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Life in the DMZ
Living in NW Indiana can be a lot like living in a DMZ. You're not really part of any particular country, or in our case, state. There were a couple of stories in the news this week that illustrate this point.
On Wednesday, Mitch Davis, the Governor of Indiana, which is technically the state we live in, held a statewide town hall meeting which was "broadcast to every corner of the state." Care to guess which corner was left out? That's right! No TV or radio station in NWI was even given the opportunity to broadcast the meeting. The closest stations to us that had it were in South Bend. We didn't even know about it up here until after the fact. WISH-TV in Indianapolis, which was in charge of the broadcast, said that they offered it to the Chicago stations because we are considered part of that TV market, but obviously, they weren't interested. We do have a local PBS station in Merrillville, but it was not offered the broadcast.
On Thursday, the Chicago Bears announced that playoff tickets would only be available to residents of Illinois. Here in NWI, we're really suburban Chicago. I live closer to the city now than I did when I lived in Deerfield. However, if you want Bears playoff tickets, you're better off living in East St. Louis (293 miles from Soldier Field) than in East Chicago (23 miles from Soldier Field).
Lake and Porter counties could secede from Indiana and nobody would notice. We'd probably be better off except that our governments, especially in Lake County, are comically corrupt and we need the help of the state to keep these guys in line.
I hope everybody has a Happy New Year!
On Wednesday, Mitch Davis, the Governor of Indiana, which is technically the state we live in, held a statewide town hall meeting which was "broadcast to every corner of the state." Care to guess which corner was left out? That's right! No TV or radio station in NWI was even given the opportunity to broadcast the meeting. The closest stations to us that had it were in South Bend. We didn't even know about it up here until after the fact. WISH-TV in Indianapolis, which was in charge of the broadcast, said that they offered it to the Chicago stations because we are considered part of that TV market, but obviously, they weren't interested. We do have a local PBS station in Merrillville, but it was not offered the broadcast.
On Thursday, the Chicago Bears announced that playoff tickets would only be available to residents of Illinois. Here in NWI, we're really suburban Chicago. I live closer to the city now than I did when I lived in Deerfield. However, if you want Bears playoff tickets, you're better off living in East St. Louis (293 miles from Soldier Field) than in East Chicago (23 miles from Soldier Field).
Lake and Porter counties could secede from Indiana and nobody would notice. We'd probably be better off except that our governments, especially in Lake County, are comically corrupt and we need the help of the state to keep these guys in line.
I hope everybody has a Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas!
I apologize for yet another long layoff between posts. Once football's regular season ended, I had a LOT of work to do around my house to get ready not only for the holidays, but also a baby coming in March. Hopefully, I'll have more time to write once Christmas is past.
I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Queen + Paul Rodgers comes to the US
Queen + Paul Rodgers announced a US/Canadian tour for 2006. They'll be in Chicago on March 23, which is a Thursday, which means regional semifinals for the NCAA tournament will be going on. Guess where I'll be?
Friday, November 25, 2005
Long time, no write
Gosh, it's been so long since I've written, I've forgotten just about anything I might have wanted to say. With both football and basketball seasons going on, it's hard to find time to write. Here's a few things rambling around in my head.
* The Sox made a pretty risky deal yesterday, sending CF Aaron Rowand to the Phillies for 1B Jim Thome. I love Thome, but he's on the downside of his career and coming off an injury-marred season. I hate to see the Sox give up their best defensive player and team leader - and a relatively young guy - for Thome at this point in his career. It makes me wonder if the Sox think they can't sign Konerko.
* Kyle Orton is doing a nice job at starting QB for the Bears, who are now 7-3. Like most rookies, he's had some ups and downs, but they are not relying on him to win the games. The Bears have a great defense and a good running game, which takes some pressure off of Orton.
Orton's QB rating of 62.5 won't get him a lot of all-star votes. He's 30th in the NFL in that category. If you throw out that one 5 INT game against the Bengals, his rating is 73.2, which isn't too far off of average. Hard to believe one game could make that much difference.
The one thing that has puzzled me about Orton so far as a Bear is that he seems to be missing guys deep. When he was at Purdue, he was the most accurate deep-ball thrower I had seen in college. It seemed like he was more accurate the farther he threw the ball, but in the pros so far, he's had trouble hooking up on the long ball. Maybe it's just a matter of still learning his receivers. When he starts clicking on the deep ball again, he's really going to take off.
Rex Grossman, whose injury gave Orton the chance to start, is going to be back in uniform this week as the third QB when the Bears play Tampa. Some fans are thinking he should go back in whenever he's ready, but they forget that Grossman has six games experience - total. Orton already has seven WINS. Grossman's career QB rating is 71.1, so it's not like he's the second coming of John Elway.
* Further evidence that there are too many channels: the Collegiate Bass Fishing Championship was on ESPNU yesterday.
* We went to see the Harry Potter movie last night. It was pretty good, although they obviously had to cut a LOT out to make a two-and-a-half hour movie. No house-elves, no Dursleys, and don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it coverage of the Quidditch World Cup. Even Snape is an afterthought. Still, it's a good movie and the special effects are great.
* My two older boys have just joined Cub Scouts. They're both pretty excited about it and they'll probably do OK, but I remember my efforts at scouting and I wasn't particularly good at it. Hopefully, I can stay out of their way. :)
* The Sox made a pretty risky deal yesterday, sending CF Aaron Rowand to the Phillies for 1B Jim Thome. I love Thome, but he's on the downside of his career and coming off an injury-marred season. I hate to see the Sox give up their best defensive player and team leader - and a relatively young guy - for Thome at this point in his career. It makes me wonder if the Sox think they can't sign Konerko.
* Kyle Orton is doing a nice job at starting QB for the Bears, who are now 7-3. Like most rookies, he's had some ups and downs, but they are not relying on him to win the games. The Bears have a great defense and a good running game, which takes some pressure off of Orton.
Orton's QB rating of 62.5 won't get him a lot of all-star votes. He's 30th in the NFL in that category. If you throw out that one 5 INT game against the Bengals, his rating is 73.2, which isn't too far off of average. Hard to believe one game could make that much difference.
The one thing that has puzzled me about Orton so far as a Bear is that he seems to be missing guys deep. When he was at Purdue, he was the most accurate deep-ball thrower I had seen in college. It seemed like he was more accurate the farther he threw the ball, but in the pros so far, he's had trouble hooking up on the long ball. Maybe it's just a matter of still learning his receivers. When he starts clicking on the deep ball again, he's really going to take off.
Rex Grossman, whose injury gave Orton the chance to start, is going to be back in uniform this week as the third QB when the Bears play Tampa. Some fans are thinking he should go back in whenever he's ready, but they forget that Grossman has six games experience - total. Orton already has seven WINS. Grossman's career QB rating is 71.1, so it's not like he's the second coming of John Elway.
* Further evidence that there are too many channels: the Collegiate Bass Fishing Championship was on ESPNU yesterday.
* We went to see the Harry Potter movie last night. It was pretty good, although they obviously had to cut a LOT out to make a two-and-a-half hour movie. No house-elves, no Dursleys, and don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it coverage of the Quidditch World Cup. Even Snape is an afterthought. Still, it's a good movie and the special effects are great.
* My two older boys have just joined Cub Scouts. They're both pretty excited about it and they'll probably do OK, but I remember my efforts at scouting and I wasn't particularly good at it. Hopefully, I can stay out of their way. :)
Friday, November 04, 2005
I'm in USA Today
Sorry it's been so long since I've written. This is the time of year when hoops and football collide, leaving me little time to blog. I still have the White Sox on my mind, and I'll get to that eventually. Meantime, I was featured in USA Today today.
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